FredBirdAnybody else get anxiety about volunteering at their kid’s school?  Well, one year I volunteered at the Fall Carnival at my daughter’s school.

It was hard to choose what to volunteer for.  I didn’t want to lead a game b/c I was having some back trouble and thought I’d get grouchy picking stuff up constantly (like darts, and things that the kids use for the games).  And it would’ve been weird if I had taken off my shoes and used my feet as hands to pick stuff up which is what I do at home.  Also, you have to be all excited and fun and extroverted when putting on the games and that doesn’t always match my personality.

So, I thought temporary tattoos – that should be a safe place to just kind of blend into the wall!  And it was only for 2 hours – what could possibly go wrong?  Maybe if I messed up a tattoo a kid might scream but not likely b/c most kids are easy going- though you always have that one kid – who I’m not going to judge b/c my kid has been that one kid at times.

It was going as expected – nice and boring and uneventful until Fred Bird walks into the gym.  He’s all taking pictures with people and having a good time with the paparazzi following him and comes straight up to the tattoo table and asks for a tattoo.

Well, I tell him that the tattoo isn’t going to stick to him b/c he’s got fur.  And he’s like, “What?!?!” but he doesn’t talk so he was gesturing WTH with his hands.  Then, he points at his arm that he wants a tattoo there.  And I explain to him that, “I’m sorry it’s not going to work.”  Then, he pounds the table with both his furry arms and makes a big scene demanding a tattoo.

At this point, the whole gymnasium full of parents (and kids) is looking in my direction and I feel my face turn bright red.  Next, he puts his leg up on the table and points to his leg that he wants a tattoo there.  But the costume is covering his legs.  So, I explain to him again that I’m sorry but it’s not going to stick.  He puts up his hands like he’s completely exasperated with me and then proceeds to put my entire head in his mouth!

Pictures are being taken, etc.  My face at this point is the color of his costume and the entire gym is staring at me and laughing.  At me not with me.  I look across the room, hoping at least my family wasn’t watching this, and see Bryon and the girls staring at me and they are not laughing (they look like they are in shock – probably at how red my face was) and my oldest daughter had this strange look on her face – like she was embarrassed of me which made me want to die.

All you parents out there can relate that all we want to do is make our kid’s school life better not worse and therefore, I try to blend into the wall where ever possible.  Yet, here I was managing to be the laughing stock of the gym.  :-p  I’m not exactly sure what he wanted or how I could’ve avoided embarrassment – maybe I should’ve pretended to give him a tattoo for the photo op and instead I spoiled his photo op b/c I was too busy trying to bury my head in the sand.  :-p  LOL!  Oh well, at least it was entertaining for everyone else!  If only my face didn’t turn so red, I could play things off a little better.

Flash forward to today and it is the funniest thing ever to me to retell that story but at the time – complete embarrassment!  :-p  Moral of the story:  if you think the temporary tattoo table is a safe place to volunteer, it’s not.  No place is safe when volunteering at the kid’s school.  Just buckle up and enjoy the ride – it could make for a good story later!!!  :-p

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